Is a successful marriage a utopia today? Essay

The latest marriage statistics should make every couple doubt about whether their relationship shell be sealed with a marriage. Beside the fact that considerably less couples decide to marry at all, in the US every second, in Austria (as an example for middle Europe) every third marriage is divorced. This is not a particularly promising prospect for a couple planning to marry and swear to love each other for the rest of their lives. Therefore the question must be raised: Is a successful marriage Utopia today? When I take a closer look at our society, I can imagine some reasons why successful marriages, which mean staying together happily for a lifetime, have become so rare. One reason might be a shift in our society towards more self-realization and less responsibility. In my opinion many couples may not detect the enormity of their decision to marry. Before making that decision each partner should think about all consequences a marriage might have on the relationship and all consequences a marriage definitively has when it comes to legal terms. Taking the decision whether or not one wants to marry his or her partner should not be made hasty in a romantic mood or occasional feelings of perfect happiness and love. Nevertheless many couples fix their marriage either before really knowing each other or not thinking of the consequences it has. After a little time, when the butterflies in their stomachs are often gone, many couples realize that their relationship has changed, but they then have to realize as well that divorcing is by far not the same as breaking up. A second reason might have to do with the role of women in our society. Nowadays nearly every woman is educated or emancipated enough to earn her own money. Therefore only some women are still financially dependent on their husbands which was/is often a reason for women staying married although being unhappy in the relationship. A woman who earns her own money and can lead an independent life without her husband as well will have no fear of getting divorced, as this was the case in the last centuries. However, not only the roles of women, but also our society as a whole has changed and made divorce absolutely tolerable. In former times our society consisted of either happy or unhappy married couples with at least one or two children. These couples married or were forced to marry fairly early and stayed together till the end of their days. Nowadays our society is structured completely different: many couples life together without marrying or having children, others marry and get divorced once or more often. Additionally homosexual relationships are relatively tolerated and the number of singles, who spend the main part of their life alone, is one the raise too. In such a heterogeneous society divorce has become a normal, for some even a natural, thing. Terms like common law spouses have emerged and some people think of their partners as temporary phenomenon only. Nevertheless I truly believe that in the 21st century a successful marriage must not be or is not Utopia. I, for myself, cannot tell what future holds in store for me and my relationship, but I can observe many happy and therefore successful marriages which have been lasting for more than 25 years by now in my surrounding. In my opinion the society and therefore the people living in a society are always subject to change. And these changes also include changes of people’s behaviours, customs, morals or values. Although today’s marriage statistics do not suggest bright expectations for a successful marriage, I think it is still can and does happen. Maybe the preliminaries for such a marriage have changed, nevertheless many couples show us that living in our society happily and married is still possible. So, for many couples a successful marriage has become Utopia, but the alternative is still there.